Use Simple Language to Help Kids with Autism Stay Calm and Regulated

In the process of organizing our regulation strategies for our presentation at the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association Convention last November, we discovered that there are three strategies that are more pervasive than the others. We use these three strategies all of the time, by themselves and in conjunction with more specific strategies, every time we interact with a child. We call these three strategies our “guidelines”. The three guidelines are: 1) Use Simple Language, 2) Provide Processing Time, and 3) Employ Visuals. Of course they all overlap, and it is difficult to talk about one without talking about the others. However, today we want to begin by focusing on the first guideline: Use Simple Language.

GUIDELINE #1: USE SIMPLE LANGUAGE

As therapists, teachers, and parents, when a child is having a difficult time following through on a task or instruction, our natural inclination is to talk more. Whether our intention is to convince the child to participate, provide assistance by “talking him through it”, or ease our own anxiety, the rate and volume of speech tends to increase. For example, a child might be starting to melt down over hanging up his backpack and we might find ourselves saying, “Come on, Kevin. Hang up your backpack. Right here. You can do it. Pick it up. Here, let me help you.” Our pitch and rate may increase as our own anxiety increases. This is natural and difficult to counteract.

However, especially for a child with autism, this can quickly become counter-productive. We need to re-program ourselves to react in a way that will calm the child and give him time to process what has been said, process his own emotions about the expectation, and make the decision to follow through. The first step in this process is to use simple language. In the situation outlined above, we might simply say “backpack” with a gesture toward the hook where we want him to hang it up. Alternatively, we might give a First/Then such as “First backpack, then circle time”, if we think that will be motivating. Or, we might point out what the other kids are doing, “Everyone is hanging up backpacks.” No matter what, we would use a firm but kind tone of voice. If the child launched into a full meltdown, we would wait him out (staying near him, but not talking or giving eye contact) and repeat the instruction using the same simple language once he started to calm himself. No matter how long we had to wait, the child would need to complete the expectation before moving on. We have seen this process help children a thousand times, and continue to be amazed when it does. Just when you think a child will refuse or tantrum forever, he stops, stands up, completes the task and moves on.

Using simple language is not only important when a child is melting down, it is important before the meltdown occurs, especially during transitions or other high-stress times. We can often keep children on the spectrum regulated and prevent meltdowns altogether by stating expectations and instructions clearly, firmly, and with simple language. For example:

“Time to wash hands. Let’s go. Wash your hands in the big sink. Come on, let’s go” becomes “Wash hands” with a point toward the sink, wait time and an expectant look.

“We are going outside. Let’s put on our coats. Coats on, line up by the door” becomes “Coat on, then line up” with a point toward the coat rack, wait time, and an expectant look.

“Circle time. Let’s go sit at circle. Time for story. Sit on your carpet square” becomes “Your friends are sitting” with a gesture toward the children sitting at circle, wait time, and an expectant look.

Think about your own needs at times when you feel overwhelmed or confused. When someone continues to talk at you, it becomes more and more distressing. You need time to process your own emotions and decide how you will proceed. For our students with autism, on top of that you must add a constant state of heightened anxiety and difficulty processing language. Simplifying your language and providing the time to process that language can go a long way toward helping children with autism stay regulated and ready to learn!

So, next time you’re interacting with a child on the spectrum and you see his anxiety begin to increase, think about exactly what he needs to do and say it in two or three words. State the expectation firmly and clearly, adding a gesture where needed and plenty of wait time. Stay calm yourself, and let your tone of voice and manner of speaking reflect this. Your quiet state will anchor the child and reassure him that he will be okay. Remember, stay calm, be firm, and use 2-3 words. Once you do this enough, it will start to become second nature, and your students will reap the benefits. Let us know how it goes! We want to hear what works for you and your students.

Mo & Leslie